Many of us parents have been there. We are rushing to get our child(ren) off to school, we get to the school and our child has a big, emotional outburst and refuses to go into their classroom. This is more common in younger children whilst they are still adapting to being away from the safety and comfort of their home and their primary caregiver, and many children will grow out of this as they settle into the school routine and become more familiar with their new surroundings and teacher/classmates. But for some children, school refusal is something that is more of an ongoing issue and can be a sign of an underlying anxiety disorder. School refusal can affect children of all ages, from kindergarten right through to highschool. Obviously the signs and symptoms will differ depending on the age. Your teenager is less likely to have a big emotional outburst, but may show some of the following signs: Complete refusal to attend, Attending, but leaving early, Starting late, Having a tantrum when they arrive at school, Attending, but experiencing a high degree of distress. What causes school refusal? There are many things that can contribute to school refusal, some of those reasons can include: An underlying anxiety/depressive disorder, The child might be experiencing bullying at school, They may be involved in conflict at school with teachers, or other students, They may be experiencing issues at home that make them feel worried to leave, They could have acute stress/PTSD as a result of something that happened at school, They may struggle at school and have academic issues or issues with their teacher. It is important to note that children with Special Educational Needs (SEN) have a higher rate of experiencing school refusal. What are some symptoms of school refusal? This will vary from child to child and will, again, vary with different age groups. Some symptoms include: Stomach distress (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach aches etc.) Headaches Fatigue Crying Tantrums It is good to also have your child checked out by their family doctor if they are experiencing any of these physical symptoms, to rule out any potential health concerns. How to help with school refusal: Many parents are unsure whether or not they should be “punishing” or “disciplining” their child when they experience school refusal, this will not work. School refusal is not something that can be disciplined out of a child, it is a form of anxiety that requires treatment. One of the most effective forms of “treatment” is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT should be provided by a registered mental health professional who has received training in this modality. CBT teaches the client to confront and change negative thoughts/behaviours. Something that has worked in our family is normalizing anxiety. We all have open conversations about anxiety as a human experience. When anxiety is appropriately managed it can alert us to danger, or help us perform in a situation. We discuss the parameters of anxiety and when it moves from [...]

Many people may not think of career and mental health as being closely tied, but in fact, many of the clients I see on a weekly basis report that their current career, future career, and/or a career they have thought about working towards, is causing them much stress, self doubt, fear and anxiety. While career counsellors and clinical counsellors that provide therapy and services focused on treating mental health issues are not often considered fields that relate or ‘blend’ together often, some practitioners, like myself, view the goals of these professions as one in the same – assist clients in successfully navigating life’s obstacles and provide them with the tools necessary to reach their goals, whether it be with their career, mental health, or both. Just as most mental health experts in the world have come to view issues such as anxiety and depression as being highly related, the issues that can stem from or relate to career and career development are often highly related to or correlated with struggles with one’s mental health. As many of my clients know, or have come to realize, I like to use a lot of examples during counselling sessions to provide context to the issues they are currently struggling with. I have recently been seeing many teenage and younger adult clients who are feeling much pressure within themselves to ‘figure out what they want to go to school for and do with their life.’ And while many of us think of career development and stressors related to this process as an issue facing youth, this issue is something that people, as I have seen proven in my office time and time again, from ages 15 to 50 face often in today’s world. Many reasons exist as to why this continues to be a stressful and challenging aspect of one’s life up until the age of 50 and these include: 1) How We Interact with and Function Within Todays’ Job Market…         I was once told by a professor in an undergraduate Organizational Leadership course that those in my generation (millennials) and younger will have, on average, anywhere between 3 to 5 ‘careers’ in our lifetime. They also stated that the ‘older generations’ often had/will have only 1-2 (on average) ‘careers’ in their lifetime. When I explain this to my clients, many of them are very surprised by these numbers and ask me why this is the case. There are many reasons why, but some include:   Stability and Security:After the ‘market crash’ in 2008, people began to search for jobs that provided more stability in order to gain more financial security. Those from ‘older generations’ often misunderstand and become frustrated with those who now seem to ‘hop from one job to the next,’ but the reality is, we live in a different financial environment and ‘work world’ than many past generations did. Due to the competitive nature of many professional fields, generations like millennials have had to gain more post secondary education, experience and [...]

  The Mother Wound   I do not have a strong relationship with my mom. If anything I feel like the parent in our relationship more often than not. I often look at my friends' relationships with their mothers and get jealous. My relationship with my mom wasn’t always this way. We always had our ups and downs, as most mothers and daughters do, but over the last decade it has turned into resentment and barrier filled.   The last year I have become more aware of myself and of my actions as a mother. Sometimes, I did not like the person I was towards my step-son. I was not handling situations well. I would sometimes yell, then we would both end up crying. It was awful and unpleasant for everyone.   I did not want to be like this so I started to work on myself. I read self-help books, listened to podcasts, and followed women who inspired me. Along this journey I came across Bethany Webster. She is the author of Discovering the Inner Mother. Webster also has a Master’s degree in Psychology.   What is the “Mother Wound”? The Mother Wound can be described as, “the pain rooted in our relationship with our mothers that is passed down from generation to generation in patriarchal cultures and has a profound effect on our lives,” (Webster, Bethany. https://www.bethanywebster.com/about-the-mother-wound/).   Becoming more aware of myself and how I was acting towards my step-son, I began to see how some of my actions were similar to the actions and choices of my mother during my childhood. I hated coming to that realization. However, this really opened my eyes to the relationship between my mother and her mother and the similarities; their relationship was very bitter, angry, and cold. There was no sign of real love and support, no warmth, or guidance. I do not blame my mother for her actions - knowing what I know now, it was all she knew. She was doing the best she could with what she was given. I really want to change that dynamic with my mother before it is too late. My life is mine to live and create how I chose. I do not have to go down the same road as previous generations of my family, I can be that change.   Here are some tips to identify and heal The Mother Wound Some signs that the Mother Wound is manifesting in your life: Not being our full selves because we don’t want to threaten others, Having a high tolerance for poor treatment from others, Emotional care-taking or exhibiting codependent behaviours, Feeling competitive with other women, Self-sabotage when we’re close to breakthroughs, Conditions such as eating disorders, depression, and addiction, Being too rigid and dominating, Perfectionism, feeling like we have to control everything to be OK.   It could also come up in your life as different forms of pain: Shame: a vague sense there is something wrong with us, Comparison: not [...]

Often we don’t start learning about affirmations until we are an adult. By this point, we usually have built up a lot of negative beliefs about ourselves and struggle with negative self talk. It would make sense and be more impactful to learn these good habits as younger people. Learning this skill as a child may take less practice making it a useful tool in managing childhood mental health problems. What is an affirmation? An affirmation is a specific phrase or statement that you say towards yourself to encourage positive self talk, improve motivation or uplift self-esteem. The purpose is to affirm one’s self and incorporate that affirmation into your belief system. When an affirmation is repeated enough and enters your belief system, that affirmation will be brought to memory when a belief is challenged. An example for a child might be “I am wonderful the way I am.” When that belief is challenged by a classmate or sibling who tells them they are “weird” etc, the affirmation will eventually be remembered and the child will think, “I am not weird. I am wonderful the way I am.” Where are affirmations practiced? Anywhere! It is encouraged to repeat them multiple times in a row. This can be done in bed before going to sleep, in front of a mirror while getting ready for the day etc. Wherever and whenever it can fit into your life and schedule. When so many children experience bullying, it is important for us to teach children to take control of their belief system at a young age. Self confidence is their best defence against negative comments. Here are some positive affirmation cards we created for you to use with your children. We hope you find them helpful.   **Please note, this does not replace seeking the help of a trained mental health professional.  

Everyone experiences stress in one form or another in their lives. Stress can occur when there are too many pressures to deal with.   Some examples of pressures we experience: Raising a child, School work, Financial issues, Work related issues, Looking after an ill family member and more. (Canadian Psychological Association, 2021). Stress can occur from a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Your brain and body can only handle feeling overworked and overwhelmed for so long (CPA, 2021).   How can counselling help with stress? Counselling can offer guidance by; Helping you identify causes, Exploring possible coping strategies, Navigating any life challenges contributing to your stress. It's important to know how to manage the stress in your life. Learning ways to best cope with stress through short-term and long-term interventions helps build long lasting resilience (CPA, 2021). What types of stress are there? There are various types of stress including; 1. Routine stress related to the pressures of school, work, family, and other daily      responsibilities. 2. Stress that is brought about by a sudden negative change, such as losing a job, going through a divorce, or coping with an illness (National Institute for Mental Health, 2021). 3. Traumatic stress can be experienced during an event such as a major accident, war, assault, or natural disaster where people may be in danger of being seriously hurt or killed. People who experience traumatic stress may have very distressing temporary emotional and physical symptoms, but most recover naturally soon after. Some may require a little help with post traumatic stress (NIMH, 2021). Is all stress bad? No, not all stress is bad. Stress brought on by a response to danger signals the “fight or flight response” which is a built in survival mechanism in our bodies. In non-life-threatening situations, stress can motivate people. For example, when they need to take a test or interview for a new job stress can provide motivation and optimal performance (NIMH, 2021). But, long term stress can have a negative impact on your health. With chronic stress, those same lifesaving reactions in the body can disturb the immune, digestive, cardiovascular, sleep, and reproductive systems (NIMH, 2021). Some people may experience mainly digestive symptoms, while others may have headaches, sleeplessness, sadness, anger, or irritability (NIMH, 2021). Continued strain on your body from stress may contribute to serious health problems, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other illnesses, including mental disorders such as depression and anxiety. What about “burnout?” Burnout is something we hear a lot in our culture today. The term “burned out” refers to workplace stress. In 2019, the World Health Organization identified burnout as an “occupational phenomenon” – something due to the conditions of work (CPA, 2021). The term burnout is used to describe a group of signs and symptoms that consistently occur together and are caused by chronic workplace stress. The three dimensions of burnout 1. Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, 2. Increased mental distance from [...]

One of the hardest and most lonely experiences of my life was when I suffered a miscarriage at around the 12th week of my third pregnancy. Having already given birth to two healthy, amazing children, I felt an extreme amount of guilt around my feelings of grief. I felt like I didn’t deserve to grieve, especially when so many women suffer multiple miscarriages and are unable to carry a child to full term. Just the day before I had been to an ultrasound and seen the heartbeat, my husband and I were excited to add a third child to our family and we had shared with family and friends that we were expecting. We had even thought about names in our excitement. I never expected my pregnancy to end so abruptly. Given that so many wait to share the news until after they reach the 12 week point, there are countless women who go through losses privately, no one even knowing that they were pregnant to begin with. Whilst I was going through my miscarriage, I felt awful. Physically and mentally it was such a struggle to get out of bed in the mornings, to go out in public feeling this intense loss. It happened right before Halloween and it took every ounce of strength to take my kids out trick or treating, smiling at the other families in the community and making small talk when I was still losing my baby. I blamed myself for the loss. Did I over exert myself? Was I not taking proper care of myself during the pregnancy? Did I miss warning signs? I had never spoken with any of my friends or family about pregnancy loss, so I didn’t know what to think or feel. My husband found it hard to show his feelings of grief, I knew he was shocked and trying to process his own feelings, but that he also felt he needed to take care of me causing him to stuff his feelings down in an attempt to be strong for me. Honestly, in that moment, I wanted to sit and cry together, I wasn’t looking to him to hold it all together. We did come through the experience stronger, but I wish he had felt that he also had a right to openly grieve the loss of our child. It was only when I felt I had to share what had happened with some close friends and family members did I realize how common this is. The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Ontario (SOGC) estimates 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, although this number is likely closer to 1 in 4 pregnancies. Hearing from friends who had suffered through multiple miscarriages made me sad that we don’t openly talk about this. I would have wanted to be there for them when they went through that, rather than finding out years later. For something that happens in 1 in 4 pregnancies, we also don’t seem to have a health [...]

Whilst phobias are focussed on a specific situation or object, generalized anxiety is much more broad. Many people with generalized anxiety find that day-to-day situations cause them to worry excessively. A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder that causes a person to feel extreme fear around something. This fear can lead them to completely rearrange their lives in order to avoid the thing that causes them such fear. Some examples of phobias would be: *A place *An object *A situation *A living creature. Whilst we know the fear is an irrational one, it causes extreme emotional distress for the person experiencing the phobia. The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, (Fifth Edition by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD) outlines some helpful tips for those experiencing phobias. Please note it is important to also seek the help of a trained mental health professional. "The most effective way to overcome a phobia is simply to face it. Continuing to avoid a situation that frightens you is, more than anything else, what keeps the phobia alive." This might sound like an impossible task, especially if you have been avoiding something for a number of years. The author of the Anxiety and Phobia workbook suggests, "breaking it down into sufficiently small steps. Instead of entering a situation all at once, you can do it very gradually in small or even minute increments." When the learned behaviour is to associate anxiety with a particular situation, for example, you were involved in a car accident on a particular intersection, it is likely that you acquired "a strong association between being in that particular situation and being anxious. Therefore, being near or thinking about it automatically can trigger your anxiety." Edmund. J Bourne, lays out the following steps for those who are genuinely committed to their recovery: 1. You must be willing to take the risk to start facing situations you may have been avoiding for many years 2. You need to be able to tolerate the initial discomfort that entering phobic situations - even in small increments 3. You must persist in practicing exposure on a consistent basis, despite probable setbacks, over a long period of time to allow for complete recovery (generally 6 months to 2 years). As always this is not designed to replace seeking the support of a trained mental health professional. When doing your research and looking for a therapist, make sure to ask what training/experience the therapist has in working with phobias and anxiety disorders.

What is the purpose of a free consultation? People come to counselling consultations for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons may include: 1. It is their first experience with counselling and they have a lot of questions. 2. They would like to meet with the therapist first to make sure they are a good fit for them and that they are able to work within the clients level of comfort. 3. They want to see the therapist's office and make sure it is a comfortable and calming environment for their therapy sessions. What are some questions I could ask at my consultation? 1.What will the sessions look like? 2. What types of sessions do you offer? 3. What is your approach as a therapist? What methods/modalities do you use with your clients? 4. What happens if I don’t feel like we are a good fit? Are there other options? 5. Is everything kept confidential during the session? 6. How long have you been a counsellor? 7. What is your experience with _____________________? 8. What are your views on __________________________? 9. What do you do to take care of yourself so that you can be there for your clients and avoid burnout? 10. How often should I come for counselling? Tips: 1.Understand the purpose of the appointment. A 15 minute consultation is not the same as a counselling session. Utilizing this time to ask questions that will determine if this therapist is a good fit for you is the way to get the most out of this time. 2. Arrive on time. Being late shaves valuable time off of your appointment and could make the consultation feel rushed/stressful. 3. Check in with yourself. Do you feel your questions are being answered and that you are being heard? Do you feel safe and at ease in the space with them? 4. If you have changed your mind, let the receptionist know and cancel the consultation. The therapist has limited spaces for consultations and they will be waiting around for you if you don’t show.

High rates of opioid-related deaths across Canada have been a significant and longstanding national public health issue. In 2019, there were almost 4,000 opioid-related deaths across the country, of which over 94% were accidental. The COVID-19 pandemic emerged in the midst of this ongoing epidemic of opioid-related deaths, and resulted in the declaration of a state of emergency in Ontario on March 17, 2020 (Public Health Ontario, 2021). Within Ontario, the pandemic response has consisted of waves of public health restrictions of varying severity to help mitigate the spread of COVID-19. (Ornell, Moura, Scherer, et al., 2020). These restrictions have included physical distancing measures that resulted in reduced service levels for health and social services, such as pharmacies, outpatient clinics, and harm reduction sites, that provide care to people who use drugs (PWUD (Ornell, Moura, Scherer, et al., 2020). Despite the intention to reduce the impact of COVID-19, there was also concern that these measures would lead to unintended harms. In November 2020, a preliminary report describing patterns in the circumstances surrounding opioid related deaths that occurred in Ontario during the first three months of the COVID-19 pandemic was released. The report noted a 38% increase in opioid-related deaths between March 16 and June 30, 2020 compared to the three months prior (Public Health Ontario, 2021). This increase in drug-related deaths was thought to be driven by a combination of numerous factors, including an increasingly volatile unregulated drug supply, barriers to accessing harm reduction services and treatment, and physical distancing requirements leading to more people using drugs alone (Ornell, Moura, Scherer, et al., 2020). This raised concerns about the potential risks of overdose among people being provided supportive housing in these settings during the pandemic. Given the rapidly changing nature of the pandemic and the continued rise in opioid-related deaths (Ornell, Moura, Scherer, et al., 2020). During the pandemic, there has been a statistically significant shift towards more opioid-related deaths occurring among males. Specifically, 70.8% of deaths in the pre-pandemic cohort were among males, rising to 76.3% of deaths in the pandemic cohort (Public Health Ontario, 2021). There was a small shift towards a higher proportion of opioid-related deaths among women aged 25 to 44 years (Public Health Ontario, 2021). As younger women are both disproportionately experiencing the mental health impacts of job loss and increased childcare demands during the pandemic and encountering additional stigma when accessing healthcare services related to drug use, these findings suggest a need for enhanced programming specific to the needs of younger women across Ontario (e.g., proactive out-reach, increased social supports, discreet provision of harm reduction and treatment services). (Ornell, Moura, Scherer, et al., 2020).The vast majority of confirmed opioid-related deaths in Ontario are accidental in nature, and this has increased significantly during the pandemic (92.6% vs. 95.7% in the pre-pandemic vs. pandemic cohorts). Overall, there were 1,893 confirmed opioid-related deaths that were determined to be accidental during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Approximately half of opioid-related deaths occurred among people who were unemployed at [...]

June is Mental Health Month and it is a month that focuses on the specific physical and mental health needs of men, adolescent boys and children. It is important to note that men and women experience and encounter much different challenges when it comes to their mental health, including stigma, symptoms and social and professional experiences and struggles. It has been approximated by researchers that men die five years earlier than women and die at significantly higher rates in approximately 9 of the top 10 causes of death. Perhaps the biggest challenge men face when it comes to their experience with mental health is the stigma attached to it and the fear of judgement that may follow if one self-discloses their personal struggles or shows any signs of ‘weakness.’ While I have recently seen in my practice, many young men from ‘Gen Z’ (those born between the years of 1997 and 2012) that have no resistance to or second thought of seeking help for any mental health issues they are experiencing… it is still evident in all older generations, that the unfortunate and unnecessary stigma that has lingered when it comes to being male and having mental health struggles continues in 2021.   Stigma, Facts and Myths Surrounding Men’s Mental Health As mentioned above, males who are considered to be a part of ‘Gen Z,’ and a significant number of males who are considered ‘Millennials,’ have shown that they tend to not show much consideration to any ‘stigma’ attached to their mental health experiences or fear of judgement from others. When it comes to other generations, such as ‘Baby Boomers’ (those born between 1946 and 1964), they often have much more difficulty revealing and speaking about mental health and personal struggles. In fact, according to the Society for Human Resources (2019), only 32 percent of Baby Boomers are comfortable with opening up about mental health issues. This is a statistic that I believe, through personal observation in my practice as a counsellor, has likely improved slightly. That being said, this statistic must improve even more if we are to normalize the fact, for men in particular, that it is healthy seek help for and view mental health as being as important and ‘normal’ as all other aspects of a man’s overall health.   Another thing I, and many other mental health practitioners, often encounter are the ‘myths’ and false beliefs a large majority of male clients either personally believe or are enforced upon them, by family, friends and/or coworkers. These myths and false beliefs include:   Men should always be tough and never reveal their feelings and struggles… and if they do, they’re ‘weak’… False. We must understand that we as human beings, no matter one’s gender or identity, cannot always control and ‘hold in’ how we are truly feeling if we are to live what I consider a genuine and healthy life. A common concern men face when experiencing mental health issues is that, if they admit to others [...]