When children are feeling anxious and overwhelmed, it is important to help them manage those feelings before they become too big or are held in to the point where the child “explodes.”   Calm down kits are a great way to help with these big feelings and it is something that the child can create for themselves, or have their parent or caregiver join in.   Anything can be incorporated.  The goal is to engage the child’s senses (touch, sight, auditory, taste, smell) to soothe or distract them when they are feeling low level frustrated, angry, sad or any big feeling.   Things to get: A box or storage container they like or that they can decorate themselves (to put the items in) Stress ball (you can make these with balloons and experiment with different textures. If the child likes the feeling of slime etc, then something like hair gel could be close to that texture, but you can also use things like flour, rice, sand.) Balls - squishy or spiky Colouring items (sketch book, adult colouring books, printed mandelas/colouring pages from the internet, pencil crayons or markers) Puzzles or brain teasers Clay or play dough Pictures or mementos of people and places that make them happy Fidget toys You can include items that have the child’s favourite scents (essential oils, cards sprayed with it, if they have a favourite scent.) Favourite foods that can be stored in the box, in moderation an example of this would be hard or gummy candies. Craft items they enjoy Books Journal   Let them have fun with this activity and be guided by the things they enjoy. If you have any questions about this activity, feel free to email us at reception@brantmentalhealth.com   This information was provided by Registered Social Worker, Brianna Kerr. Brianna has over ten years of experience working with children and youth in a variety of settings. Her areas of practice have included domestic violence, trauma, and anxiety. She works with children between the ages of 4 and 18 years old at Brant Mental Health Solutions.

What are Intrusive thoughts? Every day we have thousands of thoughts that come and leave our minds. For the most part, these thoughts leave you with no uncomfortable feelings. However, sometimes people experience thoughts that last longer and leave them feeling disturbed. These thoughts might include behaviours that the person finds horrifying or unacceptable, and yet you are still thinking about them. These are called intrusive thoughts. What you need to know is that these thoughts are just thoughts, they are not fact. While you may feel anxiety when experiencing them, they are simply thoughts. It is important to recognize that you have no desire to act on them. Intrusive thoughts are not harmful when you look at them in this way. If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts and your daily life is challenging because of them, reach out to a therapist or other health care provider.  You don’t have to stay stuck in the discomfort of these thoughts.  

First it is important to understand that you don’t have to be diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to have experienced trauma. Trauma, explained simply, is when one has an experience that overwhelms their brain to a point where they struggle to cope, both in the moment and after the traumatic experience. Everyone’s ability to cope is different in varying circumstances. Our brains can often acknowledge, process, and recover when difficult events happen. However, in times when someone experiences an event that is extremely distressing, or chronically distressing, our normal coping does not suffice. We then create new ways of coping that may offer some sense of safety and protection for us in the moment, but as time goes on these coping tools are no longer helpful. Types of trauma Single Event In the Past Some examples of this would be: A car accident Sexual or physical abuse Serious injury from an animal attack Mugging Single Event Recently These would include the same things from the list above, but this would have been a recent event. Chronic/Reoccurring Event This type of trauma would be something that happened multiple times over an extended period of time. Some examples would be: - Domestic violence - Dating violence - War or political violence - Bullying This could also be something that first responders/medical professionals experience in their field. Relational Trauma If you grew up in a family where you never felt like you were good enough and/or never felt worthy, this can lead to something called relational trauma. Our interpersonal relationships, now and in the past, can be related to our thought patterns, emotions, and behaviours. This can lead the person who experienced this kind of trauma to feel bad about themselves in everyday relationships. Symptoms of Trauma Whilst this list is in no way exhaustive, these are some of the most commonly experienced symptoms of trauma. -Depression -Anxiety -Feeling helpless -Feeling unhappy/different than you used to feel -Flashbacks (reoccurring pictures/thoughts that are upsetting from the event) -Bad dreams/Nightmares -Experiencing physical reactions when reminded by the trauma event (ex. siren, photo, door slamming). -Becoming easily angered How can therapy help those who have experienced trauma? The goal of therapy is for the client to learn tools to cope. It also gives the client a better understanding of how their current coping is trying to protect them.  It also gives them an opportunity to challenge any negative thoughts they may have about themselves and most importantly to process what happened. For some, sharing their story in a safe place with guidance can relieve the effects, others may need more support. This is important to talk to a therapist about. Final thoughts about trauma If you feel you have experienced trauma, even if people have told you it isn’t significant, it is important to seek the help of a trained mental health professional. Left untreated, trauma and our response to trauma, will get worse over time. We need to process the experience under the guidance [...]

Are you or someone you know grieving? This article is to help you understand how to help yourself heal during the holiday season, or how to support someone you know who is grieving over the holidays. First, it is important to know that the experience of grief and mourning is different for everyone. No two people will experience the same loss in the same way. For some people, the grief they experience feels unbearable. Holidays can heighten this feeling. I hope the information that is provided in this article will be a supportive aid as this holiday season approaches. This year will be particularly challenging for those grieving as we navigate a global pandemic. It is important to also acknowledge the grief we are experiencing due to the pandemic. There are many different types of grief, here are some of the things people may be grieving this year: Personal health Food and economic security Future dreams Physical safety/stability Sense of personal freedom Physical/in person connection Death of a loved one It is also important to understand the difference between ambiguous grief and anticipatory grief. Ambiguous grief: a loss without closure, or an understanding of why/what happened. The loss may not be acknowledged by others. This can include losses that don’t involve a human being. Anticipatory grief: grief that occurs before an actual loss (such as anticipating the death of a sick friend.) An individual may be feeling grief after moving to a new city and not being able to connect with friends or family, they may also feel grief after losing a pet, or after being diagnosed with a critical illness, and this list can go on. Therefore, if you feel like you are grieving something other than a loved one, the information in this article can still be helpful. In a typical holiday season, there is often pressure on grieving individuals (either internally, or from others) to put aside their sadness and hurt and be full of joy and thanksgiving. However, memories of the loved one resurface during events where the loved one would have been. What does grief look like? Common initial feelings of grief: Shock, denial, disbelief, numbness Common feelings and experiences: Anger, guilt, regret, blame, sadness, depression, panic, fear, worry, relief, confusion, doubt, questioning one’s faith, changes in sleep. This list does not cover all the emotions and experiences one may have when grieving. Thinking that you do not want to go one with life is normal, but thinking about suicide is not. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately by going to your hospital’s emergency room, or talk to a therapist, doctor, or crisis support line. St. Leonard’s 24 Hour Mental Health Crisis Line: 519-759-7188 or toll free: 1-866-811-7188 Are you grieving? Here are some reminders during this upcoming holiday. Love does not end with death. Our society wants you to join in the holiday spirit, but it may not feel that easy for you. Remember to be compassionate with yourself as [...]

I think we can all agree that this year has been incredibly tough for everyone. Many of us are finding the events of 2020 to be overwhelming and as with any prolonged period of stress, it takes a toll on our mental health. Perhaps the most concerning thing we are seeing during this time, is the impact it is having on our children. We are receiving countless calls from concerned parents explaining that their child experienced, what they believe, to be their first panic attack. These panic attacks often mean the child is sent home from school, or is unable to go into school due to their symptoms. In a society that is quick to label children “resilient”, this eye-opening time is showing us that children are not as resilient as we would like to believe and that they are feeling every bit as anxious and unsure as we are right now. Witnessing a panic attack is a frightening thing for a parent and even more frightening for the child. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry lists the following common symptoms of panic attacks in children and youth: Intense fearfulness (feeling that something terrible is happening) Racing or pounding heartbeat Dizziness or light-headedness Shortness of breath or feeling like they are being smothered Trembling or shaking Sense of unreality Fear of dying, losing control, or losing your mind I would also like to note the other following symptoms that many parents are reporting to us: Unexplained stomach aches/pains that become extremely intense When out in public the child explains that they need to get out of somewhere immediately, to the point where they can’t breathe and need to be away from crowds of people. Life has changed so drastically for our children, and even the reintroduction of school is vastly different to what they are used to. Any big changes like this can bring anxiety and panic issues to the surface. To help families who are dealing with this, we want to first explain three different types of anxiety and then give you some tips you can try at home, and some recommended treatments for anxiety. TYPES OF ANXIETY As mentioned above, we are going to give a brief overview of three types of anxiety: Generalized Anxiety: This is when a person has an excessive amount of worry or anxiety around several different areas of their life (for example, health, finances, relationships, work etc.) Phobias: A phobia is an intense fear of a specific situation or thing/object that is out of proportion to its threat. Panic: When someone experiences “panic” they are having an extreme, anxious response. During this time the individual will experience numerous physical symptoms (as listed above in the report) and is also overwhelmed by a feeling of dread. WHAT TO DO WHEN MY CHILD IS EXPERIENCING PANIC AND ANXIETY: Many therapists will teach different grounding techniques to help their clients when they are experiencing acute anxiety or panic. These things take time to perfect [...]

Why now? Participating in counselling can be challenging and rewarding. The “traditional” method of offering counselling has been face to face sessions with a registered therapist. COVID19 has certainly been a life altering experience for the world. On-line (virtual) counselling has been an option for many years. The pandemic has brought this resource into more prominence recently. Deciding on whether virtual counselling is a fit for you and your family is an individual choice. There are risks and benefits which likely vary from person to person. We have captured a few pros and cons below which we hope will help you to consider for yourself. We encourage to ask any questions you may have by calling our office. Currently Sharon Walker is a social work consultant working two days a week on site at a local long-term care facility. Due to pandemic regulations she cannot offer face to face sessions to other clients at this time. Her clinical passion is to provide family therapy supports; therefore, sessions are being offered using an on-line platform. (All of Brant Mental Health Solutions other therapists are offering both in person and online counselling.) What to expect? As a registered social worker (MSW RSW) it is Sharon’s goal to provide the most beneficial experience to you and your family. “It is my hope that the sessions are helpful, as such, I plan the sessions to maximize our time together. For young children I use playful techniques and conversations to enhance engagement. It is important to be mindful of the unique attention spans of younger children. Since the sessions are 50 minutes in duration, together, we set a plan for the sessions. Often this means a maximum of 30 minutes – face to face - with the child. This would be increased/decreased based on the guardian’s feedback and child’s needs and strengths. I would like to mention a comment made recently by the Dad of a 6-year-old child I am working with. Dad said he was “really happy” that his child has had the opportunity to participate in therapy using Zoom. He shared that he felt one additional benefit has been his child being better able to manage using technology to interact. He shared he felt that using technology like this is “a sign of the times” and that the sessions have helped his child to become more comfortable sharing feelings and using this technology.” Sharon Walker MSW RSW Sample Session Agenda A 50-minute session agenda would often include: First 15 minutes – “check in” with Mom/Dad 20 minutes with child Final 15 minutes- debrief with Mom/Dad   What to consider… Based on current research PROS may include: Flexibility in scheduling Convenience Saving time from commuting to and from appointments Confidentiality- eliminates fears of running into others in waiting area of therapy office Comfort- the potential that one may feel more comfortable in a familiar setting Technology- skill building using the platform CONS may include: Technology challenges- difficulty with connections, using the software, poor voice/picture [...]

As someone who grew up in the early 90’s, I wasn’t really spoiled for choice when it came to the internet. I remember very clearly getting our first family computer around the mid 90’s, a cumbersome machine, that took up a huge area in the family living room. Internet was dial up, and connected to the home phone, so good luck trying to get online when your mom was talking to her friends! Even when you did eventually connect to the internet, there wasn’t an awful lot to do! I remember the most exciting “social media” we had was MSN messenger, and that was always closely monitored by parents. We were told of the dangers of this new online world, a place filled with chat rooms and people pretending to be someone they weren’t, but the risk seemed low given the small amount of time we were allowed to spend on the internet and the fact that there really wasn’t a lot to “explore” at that time. Now that I am raising kids of my own, one a pre-teen, I am having a hard time keeping up with the apps and social media platforms that seem way too accessible for kids of all ages. One app that has caught my attention over the last 6 months is Tik Tok. This social media platform was created to share videos of people singing and dancing and creating entertaining content from all over the world. It has been praised as a great way to share creativity, but there is a dark side to this platform that we need to be aware of as parents. There have been concerns regarding the sharing of personal information of kids under the age of 13, dangerous challenges that have gotten out of hand and most concerning of all, the ability for adults to communicate with children who are naïve and don’t stop to question who they are talking to. During this time of “lock down” my preteen (like many other kids) has been spending much more time on her tablet, part of that is for school work and keeping in contact with her friends, as well as watching NetFlix and Disney+. In the last few months, she had mentioned Tik Tok to me a few times, and said how some of her friends were using it and enjoying the different dances etc.. that it had to offer. Each time we talked, I shared that I did not want her using that platform and shared a couple of my concerns about children and social media in general. I recently discovered that she had secretly signed up for Tik Tok and was using it without my knowledge during this period of lock down. After coming across some things that scared and unsettled her, she came clean to me. This is not designed to criticize her decisions as a child, heck, I know how appealing these social media platforms are as an adult and we all want to be [...]

  As we continue to practice ‘social distancing’ during this difficult time in managing the fallout of COVID-19, fear and anxiety surrounding our physical health has greatly increased for many of us. Such thoughts as – What if I or someone in my family gets the virus? How am I going to pay my bills with being out of work for who knows how long? When will I be able to see my friends and family in person again? – are just some examples of what many of us have been thinking. These thoughts, coupled with the toll isolating at home alone can take on one’s mental health, can often work together to create much stress, fear, uncertainty, loneliness and anxiety that can all worsen with each passing day. My hope in writing this article is to provide clear and factual information on what ‘social distancing’ and isolation can do to one’s mental health during this time and provide useful and effective tips on how to stay mentally healthy though this situation. How Does ‘Social Distancing’ and Isolation Effect Our Mental Health? We all know how it feels to be stuck inside on a rainy Saturday. We had plans to see our friends or family, had plans to go play golf, read a book at the park, do some gardening or go to the beach, but, even if it stops raining and is just ‘gloomy’ outside, we often feel lethargic and, simply, ‘bummed out.’ We stay inside for the whole day, are upset and may even just want to be alone and watch TV in our bedroom. But what about when one ‘rainy day’ turns into ten, twenty, or thirty days ‘stuck inside’ like we have been instructed to do during the COVID-19 situation? What happens to us then? Uncertainty Perhaps the most common thought and fear surrounding the COVID-19 situation that I have heard, not only from clients, but friends and via messages on social media, is the uncertainty surrounding COVID-19. Questions such as - ‘When is this (I.e. ‘social distancing’ and quarantining at home) going to end!? and ‘What if this NEVER ends?’ have been asked by many (many times to oneself), producing great stress and anxiety. In my work as a counsellor specializing in stress, anxiety and low-mood, I often talk to my clients about ‘What If’s.’ Anxiety, while often acting as a healthy human feeling that motivates us to carry out the many duties daily life requires of us, can often increase above ‘healthy levels’ during stressful and uncertain times. When anxious, over such and uncertain and rare situation like COVID-19, our brain makes an attempt to calm itself by attempting to ‘figure out’ or predict the future… in other words, it tries to create certainty to rid itself of the feelings uncertainty brings… stress, fear, anxiety and low-mood. This, in turn, can cause us to take part in what are referred to, in cognitive psychology, as ‘Distorted Thinking’ or ‘Cognitive Distortions’ (more on this [...]

In this guest blog I am sharing the wisdom of Allison James, from The Grief Recovery Institute. I hope you find this blog helpful. Are you having a hard time adjusting to the change in your daily routine caused by COVID-19 safety measures? Me too. Whether you’re trying to figure out how to home school or how to work remotely, it can be overwhelming right? Many of us aren’t used to spending so much time at home or away from our normal day-to-day activities. It’s a big change. Some common things people miss are: Stopping for morning coffee Seeing other parents at school drop off Chatting with coworkers Going to the gym Seeing your favorite servers and dining out with family Church and other religious/spiritual gatherings Leisurely shopping You also might be afraid about how you’re going to pay your bills, take care of your family and if you’ll get sick. These changes and fears can cause a sense of emotional isolation. So not only are we more isolated physically, but emotionally as well. Society taught us to “put on a happy face” which means that many of us think we shouldn’t talk about negative or painful feelings. All of this means that the world is grieving! Grief is defined as the normal and natural emotional reaction to loss or change of any kind. Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief is reaching out for something that has always been there only to find that when you need it again it’s no longer there. All of our familiar patterns have changed and with change comes grief. So if you’re grieving the loss of your routine, and the physical isolation caused by COVID-19 shelter in place measures, we want you to know that your feelings are normal and natural. So what are some helpful things to do during this time of overwhelming grief and isolation? Remember there is nothing wrong with you. Grief can be lonely and isolating on its own. Even though the whole world is experiencing the COVID-19 pandemic, you are very much unique in how it impacts you. How you feel is never the same as someone else and your feelings are normal. The antidote to emotional and physical isolation is participation. The idea that we need to grieve alone is a myth. First, practice shifting what you believe about communicating your sad and painful thoughts and feelings. Know that you should talk about them as you would happy or positive thoughts. Next, find ways to engage with other people. Video Chat. Choose your favorite video chat service and start an online meeting based on common interests like a book club, spiritual program or a trivia night. Hop on the phone. We’ve gotten so used to email and texting that many of us have stopped making phone calls. This is a good time to change that. Hearing a familiar voice can provide a tremendous amount of comfort. [...]