When we think of domestic violence, we tend to think of physical abuse. In more recent years society has begun to understand the impact emotional/verbal abuse can have on a person, but we often forget that there are many ways an abusive partner or family member can exert power and control over the abused. Many therapists will use the “Power and Control Wheel” to help their clients understand the various forms of abuse that can happen in an intimate relationship. Many clients will say that the first time they saw the Power and Control Wheel, what they were going through suddenly made sense. But what does each section of the wheel mean? And what can you do if you feel you, or someone else is in an abusive relationship? Section by Section 1. Coercion and threats This information, shared from Domestic Violence Services Network explains how an abuser will threaten harm to what the victim values as a way of getting what they want. The threats can include: Harm to the victim or to someone they care about (such as children, pets etc) It can involve the abuser making a threat towards themselves, for example threatening to commit suicide if the victim doesn’t cooperate. The abuser may tell the victim that they will take, damage or destroy valuable or sentimental items. The abuser may say they will expose secrets if they know the victim values certain relationships or their privacy. There are many ways coercion and threats can play out, these are just a few examples. 2. Intimidation Intimidation often involves violent acts and involves taking coercion and threats and acting upon them. Intimidation can be a broad range of behaviours from looks, actions and gestures to destruction of property, or physical violence towards the victim, their child(ren), family pets etc. Often those who have experienced domestic violence will say the intimidation can become so bad, that even a look causes the victim to feel instant fear and live in a state of constant anxiety. This is of course, the goal of the abuser, and helps them to exert further power and control over their victim. 3. Emotional Abuse Some examples of emotional abuse include the following: Insulting comments, Name calling, Frequent attempts to belittle the victim and make them feel as though they can’t do anything right. Silent treatmentMany victims of domestic violence will say that the abuser would play mind games with them and that it created a situation where they felt unsure of what their reality was. This can be even more present if the abuser uses “love bombing” as a way of manipulating and controlling. Love bombing is where an abuser will shower their victim with gifts, and make over the top gestures. This can draw the victim back in and make them question or disregard the abuse they have been experiencing.Emotional abuse can be quite devastating for the victim as over time they lose their sense of self and they [...]

Grief is a normal and natural experience. Regardless of our education or experience, at some point we all experience loss. This loss may present as the death of a loved one. It may also be the conflicting feelings brought about by a change in what was familiar; the things in our life we wished had been different; all our lost dreams; or even unresolved emotions driven by unsaid communications. Regardless of the cause of our loss, as a griever, we are usually ill-equipped to identify and process our emotions. As someone offering support to a griever, we have even fewer tools. We have never been taught, nor fully understood, that grief is an emotional experience. It is not something we can think our way out of. This is an opportunity to understand the grieving process on a deeper level and gain helpful strategies to use when stepping into the role of supporter.  You will become not only more informed but more effective in your interactions with those who are grieving. From a griever’s perspective, they may reach for 1, if not all, of the 6 common myths. These include: a belief their feelings don’t matter; it is safer to isolate from those who could support them; they may replace the loss with food or activity; they could attempt to be strong for others; stay busy; or even wait for time to heal their wounds. As an individual in the role of supporting a griever, with our desire to help our friend or family member process their emotional pain, we may unknowingly substantiate these myths. Many times, it is because we don’t know how to support someone who is grieving. If we change the subject because their grief makes us feel uncomfortable, we deny them the time to express their emotions. Or we could unwittingly push their experience aside as we share our own journey of loss, mistakenly believing that our sharing offers support and understanding. Both examples send a message that it is not safe to be vulnerable and to be totally honest with how they are feeling. These messages, even if unintended, encourage the griever to pull away. We may hesitate to mention the name of the person who is no longer in our friend or family’s life, believing this will only remind them of their loss. In fact, the person is very familiar with the loss, they need no reminding. However, mentioning their name sends a message to the griever that we remember the person and their life, or their time with that person, mattered. We have been taught by our well-meaning parents that when a loss is experienced, we can lessen or remove the emotional pain, by replacing the loss. Our first experience is usually the death of an animal companion. Our parent(s) will tell us not to feel bad, they will get us another dog. In our teen years our friends encourage us to find another partner, immediately following a painful [...]

Mental Health and its effect on youth development:  Adolescent development is a complex change in life. Young individuals will experience change in both biological and social aspects in development that may be met with effects that can impact their mental health in a positive or negative direction. One of the main reasons why mental health professionals as well as mental health related field of research dedicated effort to understand adolescent mental health because of its complexity, but most importantly due to the fact that majority of adolescents may often be reluctant to share what they are experiencing and how it is affecting them (Guyer et al., 2016). Emotional Hyperreactivity  During adolescence, emotions tend to be intense, leading to developing euphoric and depressed-like states when involved in social contexts or events that occur in life. For adolescents, they may also experience positive emotions in short-term spells, unlike adults, and this is aligned with their development and the changes that are occurring to them neurologically (Guyer et al., 2016). Understanding emotions and how to manage them is crucial at this stage, as adolescents is stage of vulnerability and opportunity, which can lead to behaviours that are of benefit to the growth and development or behaviours that impact development (drug use, risk taking, self-harm and or suicide) if emotional dysregualtion is long term (Guyer et al., 2016). Several Signs of Emotional Hypersensitivity in youth:  - High empathy - Prone to perfectionism and overstimulation - Hard to understand their emotional state of being - Unable to bare change - Unable to regulate emotions on their own How therapy can help adolescents understand their emotions and learn to regulate:  Through the process of talk-therapy, youth can learn/understand the emotions that they are currently experiencing, as well as gain tools that can help them manage such emotions in an effective and adaptive manner. Due to their nature of reluctance to discuss mental health concerns, mental health professionals can take their time and pace the sessions until the client feels comfortable discussing their concerns, which research has shown that adolescents prefer this as they develop a therapeutic relationship with the therapist as well as feel comfortable to discuss their concerns (Lukoševičiūtė-Barauskienė et al.,2023). Methods of helping youth cope and regulate emotions can very, but can include journaling one's thoughts and feelings, learning breathing techniques that can help regulate the emotions experienced during a specific event, and learning ways to develop self-care strategies that can promote healthier mental well-being.A strong asset to working with youth and helping them in their mental health journey is parental involvement in the care. Oftentimes things that occur in the home are related to how the youth is being impacted emotionally. Discussing with parents plans of care, as well as establishing a connected support unit with the therapist and client with the family may help develop a positive change in youth mental health (depending on case and situation). How to be supportive in these situations as a parent [...]

What is an eating disorder? An eating disorder is defined as a mental health condition that leads a person to overeat, starve themselves, or adopt other unhealthy behaviours related to food and body weight. What Makes Eating Disorders Unique in Athletes? Athletes are under pressure to perform and compete.  Dietary restrictions, excessive exercise outside of scheduled conditioning and consuming “healthy foods” are all normal behaviours for someone to be successful. Demands to perform, competitive environments and pressures to look a certain way bring on praise and accomplishment which may increase the struggles the individual is experiencing. For these reasons, eating disorders in athletes can be hard to recognize. Eating disorders can cause significant medical issues for individuals but there are increased risks for those who are athletes.  Specifically, athletes may experience RED-S or Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport which occurs when the expenditure of energy exceeds energy intake, creating energy deficiency. Metabolism, menstrual function, bone health, immunity, protein synthesis, cardiovascular health and psychological health are all systems that maybe effected. If an athlete is following a sport related diet and exercise plan, their goal is improved performance rather than weight loss or an altered body shape with an emphasis on what needs to be done rather than what is forbidden. Symptoms A fixation on body weight, shape, or size Counting calories Fear of weight gain Preoccupation with nutritional details Skipping meals or rarely eating Excessive rules surrounding food Low stamina Lethargy Impaired concentration Feelings of shame and guilt about food Not eating in front of others Eating large amounts of food after practices Cuts or marks on fingers (specific to those who suffer from bulimia)   Long Term Effects Include: Metabolism issues Increased risk of athletic injury Poor performance in sport of choice Impaired judgment Decreased coordination Impaired aerobic functioning Organ damage Fertility issues Bone and muscle loss Gastrointestinal issues Dental issues Mental health issues including depression, anxiety, suicide and addiction Treatment Treatment for athletes experiencing eating disorders include; Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) and, Family Based Treatment. It is important to support individuals by emphasizing the importance of the person over the sport. Recovery is possible, but it is important that the focus is on themselves rather than their sport for a period of time if one is to return to their sport. If you are interested in more information around the support available in this situation, feel free to give our office a call at 519.302.2300 or email reception@brantmentalhealth.com Resources https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/ss/slideshow-eating-disorders-overview   https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/risk-groups/eating-disorder-athletes   https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3289170/

When it comes to Anxiety and Depression, research has found that it is less common amongst men but this may not be accurate, as with men, reporting symptoms and seeking help for anxiety and depression is less common (Affleck et al. 2018). The characteristics of masculinity, which uphold the ideology that men must be tough, must have self-control and self-reliance tend to mask the need to understand one's own mental health and the importance of recognizing symptoms that affect mental health. The mask occurs because the symptoms are seen as being inconsistent with the perceived dominant features of masculinity(Affleck et al., 2018). The common behaviors exhibited by Men/Males when dealing with Symptoms of depression or anxiety in the masculine perspective: “Acting out” rather than “Acting in”: Research in regards to men's mental health and the complexity of symptoms of anxiety and depression, that the mask of masculinity tends to direct men to act out their emotions, feelings, and other concerns. Such behaviors include and are not limited to poor impulse control, seeking out dangerous behavior, drug or alcohol misuse, becoming easily angry, and highly irritable (Affleck et al., 2018). This has been noted as “Masked depression”, which tends to occur and hide inner feelings of loneliness, sadness, as well as alienation (Affleck et al., 2018). Taking one's life: With the perspective regarding mens mental health in creating masked depression and its hidden nature, its been found that men tend to have a higher prevlance rate of suicide than women, which creates mens mental health as the silent crises as researchers have termed it (Affleck et al., 2018). The connection between culture and shame: Once again, the hidden nature of men's mental health can play a factor when one's culture restricts discussing mental health concerns. Whether the culture is heavily reliant on masculinity or the shame that is assigned to the term mental health. With this as a possible factor, men may exhibit the behavior of further masking their mental health concerns to avoid shame, labeling, alienation from one's culture/society/ and or family members. Risk factors that give rise to developing or further amplifying anxiety and depression related concerns in men: Low job security and employment concerns: Depression symptoms often tend to manifest when employment is at risk. This is due to job security and being able to act as a provider which has been deemed important in reinforcing self-identity, self-esteem and self worth from a “masculine perspective”. Family concerns: Research has found that divorce can lead to further depression in men, as it may lead to loss of meaning in life as well as a potential loss of social support with regard to the context of the situation that leads to divorce or separation from their spouse. Changes in family can also lead to new additions of life stressors such as having children and affected sleep, roles in the family, as well as a possible risk to financial related situations with regard to having children [...]

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks and feels about themselves. The degree to which they experience these feelings is extremely impactful on their ability to function in everyday life. Not only does this affect a person’s behaviour and emotions, but it can lead to a pattern of unstable relationships due to their intense mood swings and the way they view themselves. What behaviours will you see from someone with borderline personality disorder? Fear of abandonment: This is one of the biggest fears of someone with BPD. Even something that may seem minimal, such as a spouse being late home from work, has the ability to trigger a big fear response. In their attempt to keep their spouses/friends etc near, they might behave in a way that further pushes someone away, for example they may cause a fight, physically block a person from leaving or track the person they want to keep near. Self-harm: Many people with BPD engage in self harming behaviours. Suicidal behaviours are usually present as well and this can include; thinking about suicide, threatening suicide and in many cases, attempting suicide. When suicidal thoughts/behaviours and self harming is present, it is important to have a safety plan and that often requires in-patient care at a psychiatric hospital or facility. Intense mood swings: As mentioned in the intro, people with BPD have unstable moods and emotions. Whilst the mood swings are intense, they can pass quickly (minutes or hours). Often times the situation that creates an intense reaction, is something that is not perceived as a “big deal” by those around them, which can cause further frustration for the person with BPD.An important thing to note is that mood swings that last longer are more consistent with depression or bipolar disorder. Feelings of emptiness leading to impulsive behaviours: Whilst we can all have periods in our lives where we experience this feeling to a certain degree, BPD can cause chronic feelings of emptiness. This uncomfortable feeling can lead to a person looking for unhealthy ways to fill that void.  Some examples would be; using drugs or alcohol, engaging in risky sex, spending money you don’t have, binge eating etc. Shifting self image: For many people we have periods of time where we feel better about ourselves than others. For the person with BPD their view of themselves is unstable and constantly shifting. Often, they don’t know who they are and look for ways to “discover” themselves. This can lead to them changing their physical appearance frequently and changing other things that make up their “identity” including jobs, friends and so on.. Dissociation: Many report feeling paranoid or suspicious of other people and these feelings can lead them to dissociate, almost as if they are outside of their own body. For more information about dissociation, see our blog  https://brantmentalhealth.com/dissociation-and-did/ Not knowing who they can trust/if they can trust feeds into their other insecurities [...]

What is Agoraphobia? Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder that is symptomatic of fearing or avoiding places and situations. Individuals who live with Agoraphobia often feel trapped, helpless and embarrassed about their experience. What types of places/situations does someone with Agoraphobia avoid? Some examples of places or situations that an individual may avoid include: Open spaces such as parks, Enclosed spaces such as elevators, public transportation, Crowds Being alone outside of ones’ home. The individual will fear the situation because they “think” having to leave the situation will be embarrassing while distressed, as opposed to worrying about not being able to leave the situation. The fear of not being able to escape causes the person to avoid certain situations since anxiety and panic attacks are common. If you are avoiding at least two of the above scenarios, you may be experiencing Agoraphobia. What characterizes Agoraphobia as an issue? Where agoraphobia becomes an issue is that the avoided situation is irrational and impedes on the individual’s life. This type of avoidance will often extend to multiple situations until the person is avoiding almost everything in their life. How do we treat Agoraphobia? Individuals with lived experiences of Agoraphobia need to know that recovery and feeling safe outside of their home is possible. Some forms of treatment include: Exposure therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Desensitization Medications may be prescribed to control panic attacks, helping the individual to trust that they will not panic while exploring experiences of distress. **Please note only a medical doctor can recommend or prescribe medication for mental health conditions. To learn more about the types of mental health providers, download our free report here:   If you or someone you know is experiencing Agoraphobia, you can talk to a friend or provide support to the person by listening and helping and encouraging them to seek professional support. Resources https://www.anxietycanada.com/disorders/agoraphobia/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/agoraphobia/symptoms-causes/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/conditions/agoraphobia

We all experience anxiety at some point and most have a general idea of what anxiety is, what causes it, and basic ways to address it. Anxiety becomes problematic when it begins to intrude in one’s life in terms of their daily functioning. This includes a person’s ability to function socially, at home, within their place of work, with friends, in public spaces. People who experience problematic anxiety can often experience anxiety in several different ways, including in general (referred to as generalized anxiety), social anxiety/social phobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, and agoraphobia (fear of leaving one’s living space). A lesser-known anxiety issue many people experience is recognized by mental health practitioners as health anxiety. Health anxiety was once referred to by many as ‘hypochondria’ (hypochondriasis) which involved extreme worry about, and fear of, being or getting seriously ill. Health anxiety is a more recognized and appropriate term now as it refers to more specific aspects and characteristics of those who have such significant and intrusive fears/worries concerning their health. One of the most significant aspects of anxiety is that of experiencing a perceived threat. Often with this perceived threat causing distress and impaired ability to function. For example, someone may feel anxiety when driving down a dark back road in the middle of the night because they fear that something bad could happen (even though it’s unlikely). Because the person believes the potential for danger is not only real, but significant, anxiety is the result. Health anxiety refers to when one believes that there is a threat to their health which in turn, triggers anxiety that considerably impacts their daily life, social functioning, and several other areas which includes intrusive symptoms, thoughts, and behaviours. Common health concerns experienced by those with health anxiety include: Having/getting a cancer diagnosis, multiple sclerosis, heart issues, stomach disorders, spinal and joint diseases/disorders, and/or Alzheimer’s etc. Those with health anxiety can also worry in the same way about not just themselves, but loved ones as well. When Health Anxiety Becomes a Serious Issue It’s important to be clear that most people experience milder forms of health anxiety when experiencing such things as waiting for medical test results, when a new lump or sore is noticed on their body, or a new sensation is felt (Ex, slight pains, numbness, tingling, muscle twitching, etc.). It is when such worries become so challenging and intrusive that they are: Causing significant distress and impacting one’s ability to live a healthy, enjoyable, daily lifestyle. Magnified in one’s mind to the point that the beliefs and worries are out of proportion to the actual likelihood of one having a serious medical issue. Repetitive web searches for confirmatory information of the believed disease, disorder, medical issue, etc., which I refer to as ‘Dr. Google.’ Persistent to this point of completing excessive ‘checking’ behaviours (of the believed symptoms), reassurance seeking from family, friends, and medical professionals or avoiding medical professionals and health information. *These behaviours are [...]

To manage anger, we first have to understand it. Anger is a powerful, complex emotion that is sometimes a mask of something else. In therapeutic language, we talk about anger being expressed as a “secondary emotion”, meaning that the beginnings of the feelings of anger came from primary emotions that triggered anger.  Examples of negative primary emotions are sadness, fear, hurt, shame, and guilt. If we aren’t aware of the emotions beneath our anger, and anger is then the secondary emotion, we are more likely to be reactive, and be misguided in how we understand our own feelings. In turn, our anger can result in hurtful or harmful actions. When anger is a primary emotion, it can help inform action, and help us to avoid danger. An example would be asserting a boundary with someone who has caused us harm. Anger can be signal that something is wrong and needs our attention. Anger serves a purpose and works to protect our vulnerability. We want to pay attention to our feelings of anger because they help us to better understand ourselves and others. Ignoring the impact of anger can be damaging to ourselves as well as our relationships. Research has shown that withholding anger leads to an increased risk of disease in the body. Anger is an emotion that brings energy to the body and activates our limbic system. There are physiological responses to the emotion of anger that intensifies our thoughts and our emotional reaction. Being aware of how anger shows up in our mind and our body is an important first step to identifying your own triggers of anger and patterns of behaviour. How we manage anger is also informed by what we learned growing up. For example, some people learn to repress anger as they learned it is not acceptable to express those feelings in the family. For others, anger may have been explosive and lead to conflicts and violence. Our own individual temperament is a factor as well, with some of us being more assertive, and others being more passive. Dealing with our negative feelings and impulses is part of being human, and we all have the responsibility of learning to manage them, regardless of the source of those feelings. Managing anger is a skill that we can learn. Steps to Managing Anger 1. Be aware of your goals and values. For example, if what is important to you is to have a kind and loving relationship with your spouse or child, or to model for your family a healthier way of managing anger than what you saw growing up- ask yourself if your behaviour will get you closer to what you want. If not, perhaps your behaviour needs to change. Keep track of when you get angry. Learn about yourself and what makes you vulnerable. Be aware of your triggers and learn from these experiences. Practice breathing. When you notice, you are starting to feel irritable, breathe in for five, hold [...]

Getting over a breakup is like the grieving process, there will be a wide range of emotions and experiences over time which are unique to each person as they adjust to the loss. Your process will be reflective of the length, depth and influence of the relationship in your life, as well as other factors, such as how the relationship ended and whether you share children. Whether it was expected or not, the process of a breakup, separation or divorce can bring about complex and often conflicting emotions. The following ideas are offered to help support your healing journey. Accept your feelings as they are and know too that they will pass. When feeling overwhelmed, take time to breathe, take things more slowly and be patient with yourself. Use helpful self talk with self compassion, e.g. acknowledge that this is hard, and you are doing your best. Expect that there will be moments that are difficult and use helpful self talk to remind yourself that you can survive hard things. Cry when you need to. Express your feelings. Remind yourself that eventually, the intensity will subside. Take time to process your feelings. Shock, sadness, guilt, anger, fear, and regret are common emotions for people, all emotions that can be difficult to manage. In addition to your feelings about the breakup, you may also be reminded of previous losses in your life or unresolved trauma. Give yourself time to adjust to your new circumstances and work through your feelings. Give yourself permission to not make big changes in your life or decisions until things feel more settled. Have reasonable expectations of yourself. Recognize that things may have to be adjusted or accommodated to help support you in your new situation. Ask for help when you need it from people in your life, including family, friends and in the workplace. Seek professional input about things that are outside of your experience or expertise (e.g. legal, financial, real estate). Engage in holistic self care. Consider all areas of self care, physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual. Grief is hard work, so you need to look after yourself. Do your very best to make your well being your top priority. Eat well, sleep 7-8 hours a night and engage in regular physical activity. Keep your brain active. Make time for fun, socializing, relaxation and play during the week. Spend time in nature. Take time to self reflect. Be curious about what there is to learn by being vulnerable and looking at what is under your feelings and reactions to the breakup. What can you learn about yourself from what has happened? What could you do differently in the future? What is something you need to take responsibility for? By reflecting on your own growth and development you shift the energy from blaming others or yourself, to focusing on what you can learn from this and what you can control moving forward. Seek support from others while maintaining boundaries. Most people [...]