Pregnancy and Motherhood – Part 5 – Empty Nesting
Pregnancy/Motherhood – Five-Part Series The road to, through, and during motherhood is infused with so many conflicting emotions. Women do not always feel comfortable admitting to, or even openly expressing, the extreme emotions which surface. As women fall into the expectations of society, family, and friends, most do not recognize their experiences create a significant change, and therefore a need to grieve. In this fifth, and final entry of the series, we explore the empty nester: a term used to describe a parent whose children have left home. After years spent nurturing and caring for her children, a woman can experience feelings of grief when her children move out. These can include feelings of loss, fear, even loss-of-self, as she adjusts to the change in her parental relationships with her children. Shifting from being the guardian, to a mentor or friend, is a normal and natural part of parenting. However, it can feel sad and lonely as the family dynamics change.Each and every woman will pass through this stage of parenting in their own unique way. There is no predisposed plan for how she is to move forward. The experience of watching her children “fly the coop” can be accompanied by many conflicting emotions as she celebrates their combined independence and perhaps mourns a loss. Discovering, and expressing honestly, the unique emotional challenges of learning how to “let go” is essential to a woman being able to enjoy her newfound freedom, as she creates a new relationship with her adult children. This can be one the best parts of being a mother. A time to witness the amazing person her child has grown into, embrace them with pride, and celebrate their successes. To fully accomplish this, it is vital to identify and complete any unfinished emotional business; otherwise, she can remain stuck in her previous role. It is essential to honor the emotions which present themselves, without analysis or judgement; so, she may embark on the incredible adventure empty nesting can be! --- --- --- Part Five: Empty Nesting She will always be ‘mom’ to her adult children but the tasks and duties which have defined motherhood have changed. There are no more diapers to change, skating costumes to sew, homework to supervise, and her taxi duties have been retired. Learning to let her children stumble and fall is part of this new adult experience. Her role becomes that of mentor, offering advice and support only when asked. There can be a loss of identity which accompanies this shift, a loss of purpose, a feeling of disconnect, and an insecurity of how to move forward. As she tidies their room for the last time, grief can carry so many conflicting emotions. She may feel excited to have the sewing room she has longed for. Perhaps she can create a home office or an art studio. The excitement of fulfilling a dream for herself can leave her feeling regretful, selfish, and unsure of how [...]