Whether you are freshly out of school and searching for your first career level job, are looking for a new employer due to lack of fit at your current workplace, or have been laid off from your job and need a new employment opportunity, the impact these scenarios can have on our mental health can be significant.

Sometimes the pressures and stress involved in job searching can become as stressful as our current employment situation or lack of employment itself which can unfortunately lead some down a road of hopelessness, dread, lowered drive/motivation to do further job search and additional daily tasks, high anxiety and even panic, deteriorating personal relationships, and several other negative impacts on our lives and overall mental health.

In my practice, I see at least a handful of clients each week that are experiencing one of the above-mentioned situations and a combination of the stressful life situations and mental health symptoms mentioned above. The good news is that such situations and experiences can be managed effectively and one can feel more mentally healthy, confident, and energetic when job searching.

In this blog I will provide some tips for those who are going through a career transition, I hope you find them helpful!

Time Management and ‘Shoulds’…

One of the biggest concerns clients searching for work often express to me is the difficulty they experience with time management. You may think that someone who is out of work may have ‘all of the time in the world’ to job search or that someone who is motivated to move on from a current employer may have the energy and drive to make time for job searching and networking, but this is often not the case.

Due to many factors, the energy and drive to job search is lower today for many compared to years ago when our lives, in general, were slower paced, less demanding and stressful (E.g., impact of inflation on income), and we were less inundated with constant stimulation of media and smart technology.

I often find that clients set their ‘bar’ very high, very quickly, when starting their job search when it comes to how quickly they ‘should’ be applying, getting interviews, and securing a new position, how much time each day that they ‘should’ be spending job searching (E.g., Online, networking in-person applying, etc.), and how much they ‘should’ be sacrificing other life activities so they can job search.

What is wrong with this strategy?

The biggest issue with these strategies is what we call ‘shoulds’ in the field of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). When we ‘should ourselves’ we essentially self-shame, as if we are scolding and pointing a finger at ourselves for ‘not doing good enough’ or ‘not doing what we should be doing.’ The biggest problem with these thoughts is that they actually drain and demotivate us from doing things like effectively job searching in a healthy way! If you have in the past, or still do, find yourself doing this, try and ask yourself – When a child is scolded and shamed for not doing their chores, how often does this work and how long does this strategy continue to be effective? – the answer is, it’s only somewhat effective and the impact of the effectiveness fades quickly and the child becomes unmotivated, ashamed, irritated, resentful, or experiences a combination of all of these feelings. I suggest asking yourself – ‘If that’s the case, then why am I doing this to myself?’

If we don’t become more mindful and aware of this, then our drive to job search can fade and we can find ourselves being drawn into more sedentary, thoughtless, and distracting activities. This can take over which leads to further self-shame, unhealthy life practices and ineffective job search strategies.

What can we do to manage this?

When clients struggle with the above, one of the first things I work through with them is the amount of time they spend on job search activities each day and week and how they are job searching. To avoid ‘drain,’ demotivation, and unhealthy and/or distracting activities (E.g., Phone scrolling or gaming, TV watching, non-urgent household tasks, etc.), I have them not only be mindful of their ‘shoulds,’ but re-frame with them what responsible and effective job search is and how it does not involve hours on end of scrolling job search websites.

Because job searching can feel overwhelming, I focus on holistic health and their ability to remain healthy overall throughout this process. Five hours per week on job search activities is enough to effectively seek work and take part in more engaging (and often more effective in obtaining a job!) activities like networking, attending career events, and informational interviews with prospective employers.

Being succinct and efficient is also important in terms of how one splits up these 5 hours of job search activities in a given week, weaving them into practices like daily exercise/physical activity (for improved cognitive abilities, mental energy, focus, clarity, and stress-reducing benefits), required life tasks like errands, family time, and chores, and mindful/meditative activities like cooking/baking, playing sports, art, playing (and/or listening to) music, or mind challenging activities like rock climbing, shooting pool, swimming, etc. that bring a sense of fun are vital. Enough detachment from job searching, both literally and mentally, is essential to not only remaining healthy during one’s search, but makes job searching more effective and efficient!

Blocking Out The Noise

Another common issue clients who are job searching often express to me is the impact of the pressure society and those in their life place on them ‘finding a job ASAP.’ Though sometimes well intentioned and sometimes beneficial advice and guidance by others can be useful in one’s job search journey, such comments and opinions can often result in one feeling even more stress and pressure than they did in the first place (when they lost their last job, began job searching in response to poor treatment by a current employer, etc.). As I often discuss with my clients, humans love to feel heard and validated in their ideas, guidance, and opinions. Being aware and consistently mindful of this fact can be helpful when with others who are behaving in such ways by simply telling oneself – ‘They know not what they do… they simply want to be heard and feel validated.’ While I always want clients to be their true and genuine selves, in such instances, I often tell them that it is perfectly OK to appease those giving such guidance and opinions by ‘mentally checking out’ with providing short, yet validating and appreciative responses such as – ‘Oh thanks, I’ll definitely take that into consideration’ then gently steering the conversation in another direction.

The practices of self-compassion and providing oneself enough grace are also crucial when job searching and facing pressures (perceived or experienced) from others. By self-compassion, I am referring to treating oneself with understanding, kindness, and acceptance, especially when we find ourselves going the mental road of ‘shoulds.’

I always tell clients that being mindful of these times and quickly checking the ‘shoulds’ by replacing them with self-affirmations like:

‘I am only human and I’ve been through a lot lately, I don’t need to expect myself to job search for more than an hour today’

‘My body and mind deserve time away from the computer and those who I feel pressured by’

‘I am capable, intelligent, and have proven myself to be a valuable employee, work will come my way when it comes my way because I’m persistent, but also care for my mental and physical well-being’

This blog was written by RSW Jordon Iorio. Prior to being a Registered Social Worker, Jordon was a life coach and supported clients in finding a career that would bring them joy and fulfillment and play to their unique strengths. If you, or someone you know, would benefit from that type of career coaching and support, feel free to reach out to the office at 519.302.2300 or email reception@brantmentalhealth.com.