My daughter was just four years old when we first sat in a psychiatrist’s office. At that point, I knew nothing about mental health. I was still a child myself, having had my daughter at just 19 years old. All I knew was that something wasn’t right.

As parents, we can’t always pinpoint exactly what’s going on with our children, but our instincts are powerful, and they’re often right. My daughter had been displaying behaviours that worried me, and our family doctor referred us to a psychiatrist.

During that appointment, I was dismissed and told, condescendingly, that her behaviour was simply due to her father and I separating, and that she would “get over it.” I left that office feeling small and helpless, hoping that the psychiatrist was right, but deep down, I knew she wouldn’t “just get over it.”

Years went by. Around age seven, things got much worse. My husband (her stepfather) and I decided to pay privately for a psychological assessment. She was diagnosed at age nine, and then… nothing. The assessment was done, the diagnosis was made, but no one knew what to do next.

The psychologist tried to help, but the approach didn’t fit her needs. As her caregivers, we were exhausted and overwhelmed, yet no one offered support or guidance. It felt as though we had fallen through the cracks.

During that time, we dreamed of a place where anyone, of any age, could access compassionate, effective mental health care and where caregivers were supported too. In January 2019, that dream became Brant Mental Health Solutions, and every day, we strive to make our clinic the kind of place we once needed.

Now that you understand why this is so personal to me, I want to share some advice, so you can recognize the signs early and get your child the help they need.

Here is a list of common signs that a child may be struggling with their mental health:

• Noticeable behavioural changes
• Decline in school performance (e.g., failing grades, missing homework)
• Emotional outbursts, especially anger
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Aggression that feels out of proportion or unexpected
• Trouble sleeping, or sleeping excessively
• Restlessness
• Changes in eating habits (eating too much or too little)
• Vague physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches) that are not connected to anything medical

While these behaviours can sometimes be part of normal development, if they persist, it’s worth seeking the help of a trained mental health professional. Trust your gut, it’s usually right.

If your child is struggling, remember:

1. Respond with calm, not punishment:
   When children act out due to emotional distress, our first instinct may be to discipline them but punishment can often make things worse. Stay calm, even when it’s hard.
2. Talk openly about emotions:
   Encourage your child to express all their feelings, not just the “positive” ones. There are no bad emotions, each one has a purpose and deserves understanding and support.
3. Release the guilt:
   If your child is struggling, it’s not your fault. Parents often feel immense guilt and replay every decision they’ve made, wondering what they could have done differently. But guilt only gets in the way of seeking help and it can take a toll on your own mental health, too.

Now, when I seek mental health care for my kids, I think of it the same way I would a medical appointment. Her mind deserves the same attention as her body. Getting her support isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a sign of love.

At home, we talk openly about emotions as a family. My younger children are learning that it’s okay to have hard days and that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Today, my daughter is in her last year of high school. She has big dreams for her future. Seeing what she has accomplished and what she has yet to achieve I am beyond thankful for the support she received eventually for her mental health.

Yes, there are still tough days. But, mental health challenges aren’t the end of childhood. With the right support, they can lead to growth, resilience, and self-awareness.

Even on the days I feel stretched thin, I’m endlessly proud of her strength and progress. My hopes and dreams for her are the same as they’ve always been, and I know she can live her best life without limits. So can your child.