Going through a separation is a challenging and emotionally draining experience, regardless of your feelings around separating. Something that has become all the more challenging in this current financial climate, is that many couples are unable to afford to manage two separate households and have to make the difficult decision to continue living in the same residence, whether that is a short or long term need.

Whilst financial considerations seem to be the main reason for couples to continue living together post-separation, there are other reasons people may opt to choose this for their family, some of those reasons could included:

1. To co-parent more easily:  this may also help to reduce the need for child care fees if both parents are willing to share the responsibility of being with their children while the other parent works. Maybe the couple had agreed that one parent should stay home with the children, and they want to continue to honour that agreement for the benefit of their children. This can also be a good decision for the family so that the children get to consistently remain in their home where they are comfortable. If the living arrangement is safe (physically and emotionally) it can be good to offer children the stability of being in their space with their parents co-parenting.
2. Location: perhaps the residence was chosen for specific reasons to do with proximity to work, children’s schooling and other conveniences. It might be challenging to find another place within that neighbourhood and so the decision may be made to stay in the same home for convenience.
3. An inability to decide on next steps: going through a separation is difficult on both parties, there are a lot of considerations and decisions to be made, and moving is a big one. Sometimes both people will make a decision not to make any hasty decisions when it comes to their living arrangements until the other steps of the separation are underway. This can be for practical or emotional reasons.

If you find yourself considering this type of arrangement, or are currently in this arrangement, here are some tips to be aware of as you navigate through this process:

• Acknowledge it is a delicate balance navigating,
• Establish, together, clear boundaries, roles, spaces- ie. household chores, physical “private” space,
• Discuss reasonable financial plans remembering to be clear and concise,
• Increased communication is key, focus on being planful and intentional,
• Consider seeking professional support as you navigate this situation. Emotions and communication can be explored with the support of a person with experience in the field,
• Understand that feeling “confused” emotionally is a part of grieving the relationship,
• Have clear and kind discussions about the future,
• Be clear with family/friends and reflect on what you would like them to be aware of and what you do not wish to discuss (boundaries) and set realistic plans for sharing this,
• Provide yourself space to grieve and empathize that your partner, family and friends are likely experiencing a range of feelings as well,
• Practice self care as you discover yourself and live through the experience.

If you, your partner or your children are struggling to manage a situation like this, do not hesitate to reach out to us for more information. We have a team of registered mental health professionals who are able to work with children, adults, couples and families and all of our team offer free 15 minute consultations to see how we can best support you and your unique needs.