I have debated writing this blog for years. Growing up in a family with a parent that was a first responder I understand how the job can impact the family and the first responder themselves. I was always proud of my parent and their role, but aware of the struggles that came with the role, even more so as I became an adult and raised my own family.

First responders; police officers, firefighters, paramedics, corrections and probation staff, emergency medical staff and mental health professionals, are the backbone of each community’s safety. But what about their families? Often, the emotional toll of their role is felt deeply at home, and the mental health struggles faced by first responder families rarely receive the support and resources they need and deserve.

It’s no secret that first responders experience high-stress situations daily in their field. Dealing with trauma, life-and-death decisions, and sometimes horrific scenes is all part of their job. In particular in our community we have seen the impact of the opioid epidemic and the volume of calls our first responders are responding to in order to provide support to our most vulnerable community members.

While many will say they are trained to cope with these stressors, there is often a lot more that could be done to prepare and support first responders for the realities of their job. The emotional fall out and stress experienced for the family can also be incredibly difficult to understand and navigate.

The impact on families:

1. Emotional Isolation – Spouses and children may feel isolated, not fully understanding the mental toll their loved one’s job takes on them. First responders may shield their families from the details of their work, creating an unintentional barrier that can leave family members feeling disconnected and unsure of how best to support their loved one..
2. Secondary Trauma – Hearing about traumatic events can be emotionally draining, even if you weren’t there. For spouses and children who listen to their loved ones recount difficult calls, this secondary trauma can lead to anxiety, depression, and PTSD-like symptoms.
3. Unpredictability and Fear – With long, erratic hours and the fear that their loved one may not return home, anxiety can be very present for these families. Often first responder parents will miss out on important family events; vacations, school events, birthdays etc which can feel very unpredictable for the family and can be hard to explain to small children. The spouse may understand the need for them to do their job, but it can also be lonely for them as they navigate parenting and life when the job needs them.
4. Increased Risk of Substance Abuse – Unfortunately, some first responders use substances to manage their own stress, and this behavior can spill over into the home. In particular for first responders who are from an older generation, drinking and smoking were often encouraged after a particularly difficult shift or call, thus creating unhealthy coping mechanisms that impact them and those around them.

What can we do to help?

Here are a few ways we can all contribute to making a difference:

1. Talk about mental health freely:

Mental health should be part of everyday conversation, not just for the first responders themselves but for their families too. Encouraging open dialogue about emotional struggles can help reduce stigma and provide a much-needed outlet for those holding down the home and caring for the family.

2. Resources and Peer Support:

Organizations like Empowering First Responder Families Peer Support Group (www.empoweringfirstresponderfamilies.com) are creating resources and support networks for first responder families. Connecting families to these services can provide them with guidance, coping strategies, and can provide them with comfort in knowing they are not alone.Just as first responders rely on each other during difficult situations, families can benefit from peer support as well. Creating spaces for spouses, children, and extended family to connect with others who understand their unique challenges can help ease the burden.

3. Self Care:

Encouraging first responder families to engage in self-care is important. Life can feel hectic and unpredictable for first responder families, but taking time for hobbies, exercise, and relaxation can go a long way in managing stress. Families should also be encouraged to seek the help of a trained mental health professional if needed, and efforts should be made to connect families to mental health providers who have additional training in trauma, or an understanding of first responders and their families.

4. Check in with the family:

This is such a simple thing that any one can do. Whether it’s a neighbour, friend or family member, reaching out to ask how the family is doing can help foster an environment of support and open lines of communication for the family.

Final Thoughts:

While the job of a first responder is undeniably challenging, the resilience and strength of their families are just as remarkable. For many first responders, their family is at the centre of what they are doing and knowing their family is healthy mentally allows them to go and function in their very important role.

Supporting them means more than offering occasional help, they need to know that help is always available for them and their families, not just in moments of crisis. Being the parent, spouse, sibling or child of a first responder comes with its own set of challenges and we should encourage family members to reach out for support as they lift up our first responders and support them in their service.

If you, or someone you know is struggling in their role as a first responder, or supporting a first responder, I would encourage you to reach out to us at 519.302.2300 or email reception@brantmentalhealth.com. Many of our therapists have been in the field as a first responder, or have undergone extensive training to support those who are first responders.

Raised in a first responder family, I am committed to supporting those who risk their lives every day to protect our communities. Now, it’s our turn to prioritize their well-being.