Self-love is often misunderstood as indulgence or something we turn to only when we have extra time. In reality, self-love is best understood as a set of intentional, routine, and values-aligned practices that support our overall wellbeing, resilience, and sense of wholeness. During Valentine’s Week, a time that often focuses on relationships with others, it can be a meaningful opportunity to reflect on how we care for ourselves.

Many holistic wellness approaches encourage us to break down our needs into categories to better understand what may be missing or out of balance. There are many helpful models for doing this, and the most effective one is simply the one that resonates with you.

The Four Quadrants of Holistic Health

This straightforward model highlights four core aspects of the human experience: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Physical
Caring for your body through movement and nourishment, as well as creating closeness and connection through physical touch, whether familial, platonic, or romantic.

Mental
Developing awareness of your thoughts and how they influence behavior, cultivating mental clarity, and practicing balanced, realistic thinking.

Emotional
Increasing awareness of emotions, beliefs, and values, building emotional intelligence, and learning how to respond to feelings with greater intention and self-compassion.

Spiritual
Connecting with a sense of purpose, meaning, culture, or community, whatever brings you a deeper sense of alignment and grounding.

The Seven Circles of Wellness

Another holistic framework is the Seven Circles of Wellness, described in The Seven Circles: Indigenous Teachings for Living Well by Chelsey Luger and Thosh Collins. This model identifies seven interconnected human needs:

Food
Providing your body with nourishment and sustenance.

Movement
Engaging in regular physical activity that supports your body and energy.

Sleep
Prioritizing rest and reducing habits that interfere with quality sleep.

Ceremony
Rituals or practices that offer spiritual grounding and reflection.

Sacred Space
Creating environments (at home or elsewhere) that feel calm, safe, and supportive.

Land
Spending time in nature and fostering a connection to the natural world.

Community
Building relationships that create belonging, support, and connection.

As you reflect this Valentine’s Week, consider: Which needs have been placed on the back burner? What is one small, realistic practice you could incorporate to better support your wellbeing? Self-love doesn’t require perfection, just intention and consistency.