Being a new parent (or second time, third, etc.) brings on a myriad of changes and feelings. It is adapting to a new role and identity while also sometimes feeling like you are losing other parts of yourself. It is feelings of happiness, sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, exhaustion, fulfillment and/or insecurity. All this on top of trying to physically heal from pregnancy and birth.

Parental leave is designed to allow that time to heal while also time to bond with the baby, but being home alone with a baby can be an isolating experience. Taking care of the baby can be all consuming and can often feel like the focus is only on the baby by service providers and family/friends.

Please remember, as a parent and as a human being, that your mental well-being is just as important. Below are some tips to help you prioritize your mental health while on maternity leave.

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help:
Your baby will have several check ups throughout their first year of life. These appointments are as much about the baby’s overall health as they are touch points for you to check in. You can connect with your doctor at these appointments if you are struggling and need additional mental health support. If family or friends are offering to help, take it. Whether that is taking the baby so you can do something for yourself or helping with tasks.

2. Stay Connected:
It is easy to become isolated and confined to home taking care of a newborn but this can set you up for ruminating thoughts and feed into intense feelings. You need time to connect with other adults and time to feel like yourself beyond being a parent. If you have a partner, try to make time together. Remember you are partners, not just parents. If you don’t have family or friends nearby, there are many wonderful parent and baby programs in our community through the EarlyON Centres and Kids Can Fly.

3. Manage Your Expectations:
It is okay if the dishes don’t get done today. It is okay if your body has changed. Taking care of a baby is exhausting and a full time job so it is not as easy to be as productive as we once were or make it to the gym if that was part of our routine before. If you are parenting with a partner, checking in with each other about the other’s expectations in regards to sharing the workload is important so neither feel resentful or burnt out. Be transparent about your needs.

4. Honour Your Feelings:
Caring for a baby while on maternity leave can sometimes make you feel disconnected from the rest of the world (especially during those 3am wake ups!). It is okay if you don’t feel happy or as in love with the baby as everyone expects you to be. You might feel many contradictory feelings and that is okay. Acknowledge them, allow yourself to feel them, and try to do something for yourself. This might be a special treat, going for a walk, calling a friend, asking for a break, or having a good cry. If these feelings are too overwhelming or impairing your day to day functioning and ability to parent, please reach out for support through your family doctor or a therapist.

5. Remember who you are beyond being a parent:
Being a parent is wonderful and fulfilling, but it is also stressful and exhausting. Remember the other parts of your identity that are important to you, the hobbies you are passionate about, and the relationships you have with others.

For information about Postpartum depression and anxiety, feel free to check out our free downloadable reports here:

https://brantmentalhealth.com/reports/postpartum-depression-and-anxiety/

https://brantmentalhealth.com/reports/suffering-from-postpartum-depression/

If you are concerned about your mental health, or the mental health of a loved one after the birth of a child, please make sure to reach out for help and support. You can connect with someone on our team by calling 519.302.2300 or emailing reception@brantmentalhealth.com.