The information in this article is largely taken from the work and approach of Peter Levine, PhD- Somatic Experiencing.

Freud correctly surmised that both the imprints of horrible experiences as well as the antidote and catalyst for transformation exist within our bodies. He said, “The mind has forgotten but the body has not- thankfully”.

In a way, time, connection and movement can feel different and shifted with the impact of experiencing sexual assault. Our minds continue on and our bodies become trapped in an immobility loop. Life may at some point return to a semblance of normal on the outside, however, when feeling stressed or in conflict, your body might still respond as it did when in crisis. Therapy can support exploration of your connection to your body by reliving body sensations so that feelings can be physically felt and eventually replaced by the emergence of a new feeling or sensation that is grounded in support and safety.

There are ways that our minds have rationalized events so that we can still function and our thoughts are not consumed and yet our bodies accurately remember what was and is real. In some cases, behaviour symptoms may not emerge for 6 months to 2 years and may only manifest after another traumatic event occurs. People who are traumatized constrict and brace against their rage, suppressing. Tremendous amounts of energy need to be exerted to keep rage and other raw emotions at bay. This turning in of anger against the self and the need to defend against its eruption leads to debilitating shame and eventual exhaustion. The physical sensations of immobility by themselves evoke fear. The inability to exit from the immobility response generates unbearable frustrations, shame and self-hatred.

For many wounded individuals the body has become the enemy- in many ways they become cut off from the primal sensations, instincts and feelings arising from the interior of their bodies. Therapy can help a person to find their way home to their bodily sensations and capacity to self soothe- which has been violently taken from them.

It is important to honour and avoid judgment when it comes to current coping habits as they have been necessary to implement for survival. When we begin to open gradually to accepting our intense sensations, we enhance the capability for healthy aggression, pleasure and goodness. Restoring a sense of balance in our bodies and learning to be in relationship with it again.

How to support a friend or loved one who is a survivor of sexual assault:

· Find specialized support and resources to offer or find with your friend/loved one

o There are many people, centres and groups who are professionally and highly trained to specifically assist victims of sexual violence and assault. Tailored support is crucial for both immediate and long-term care and recovery.

· Don’t blame them in any way, ever.

o It is important to be very mindful about how anything you say can be interpreted or felt by the victim in such critical moments.

· Be mindful of the questions you ask.

o Certain details might not be relevant in the moment or even to be shared with you as the support person. What’s immediately important is to stay with them, if that’s what they want, and to get access to the proper services.

· Don’t treat them like there is something wrong with them- this happened to them but does not define who they are. On the other hand, it can also be important not to act like nothing has happened.

o Both are true at the same time- let your friend or loved one direct their own responses to any given situation. You don’t need to know what all of their needs are and how to meet them, you can ask what they need from you in each moment and just meet them where they are at.

· Try not to take personally or make the behaviour of your friend or loved one about you

o Try and remain curious about why they might be acting a certain way towards you

o Their experience is their own and they are dealing with a lot so we don’t want to add to that.

Local Resources:

Sexual Assault Centre
24-hr crisis and support line: 519-751-3471
Business line: 519-751-1164
Email: sexualassaultcentre@sacbrant.ca

Victim Services of Brant

Tel: 519-752-3140
Email: vsb@victimservicesbrant.on.ca

Brant County Health Unit

519-753-4937

This blog was written by Registered Psychotherapist, Samantha Hawkins. For more information about how Samantha can support you, call us at 519.302.2300 or email reception@brantmentalhealth.com