Watching a friend or family member experience domestic violence can be hard but there are things you can do to support them.

There are two scenarios that many people meet when it comes to an abusive relationship. One occurs when the friend or family member approaches you for support and the other involves the recognition on your part that abuse is occurring, but the friend or family member is unaware. Below are suggestions for both.

Supporting Friends and Family Members who are aware: 

1. Consider your thoughts on domestic violence and then create a non-judgemental space for your friend or family member to share their experience
2. Help them make a safety plan (for more information on safety planning, check out this information from Nova Vita https://novavita.org/safety-planning/)
3. Check in with them regularly
4. Tell them that they are not alone and that you are there for them
5. Express concerns for their safety both physically and emotionally
6. Tell them it is not their fault and that their feelings are valid
7. Respect their decisions and be patient
8. Recognize their strengths and remind them of what they are
9. Encourage them to build a support system

Supporting Friends and Family Members who are unaware:

1. Express concern gently, that is, ask them what they think about their relationship
2. Discuss the different types of abuse. Many people are unaware that domestic violence can occur both physically and mentally (see our previous blog about power and control and types of abuse https://brantmentalhealth.com/power-and-control/)
3. Check in on them regularly
4. Keep the lines of communication open

What Not To Do:

1. Do not accuse, judge, or assume you know
2. Do not criticize the abuser
3. Do not pressure them to leave. There are many reasons people stay in abusive relationships
4. Remember, if you are trying to support a friend or family member who is experiencing domestic

violence, you may need to reach out for your own support. It is normal to have your own

thoughts and feelings that need to be acknowledged.

Unfortunately, domestic violence is something many of us will come into contact with over our lifetime, whether we experience it ourselves or see a friend, colleague or family member go through it. Reach out to local organizations, such as Nova Vita if you want to learn more about domestic violence and its impact. Another important thing to do is to have age appropriate conversations with our children and youth so that as they enter into intimate relationships they understand what a healthy relationship should look like.

If you are worried about the impact of domestic violence on children, we encourage you to check out our blog here https://brantmentalhealth.com/the-impact-of-domestic-violence-on-children/ which provides some local resources should you need further information.

For more information, or to book with someone on our team, reach out to us at 519.302.2300 or email reception@brantmentalhealth.com