Talking to youth about safety in relationships can be challenging but is essential in helping them build healthy, respectful connections. It is helpful to start by creating a safe, open environment where they feel comfortable sharing without fear of judgment or punishment. We want to assure them that discussing their relationships is about supporting their well-being and helping them make informed decisions, it is not about controlling them or thinking they are not capable. Some things we want to explore with them includes:

1. What Does a Safe Relationship Look Like?

Explain that safe relationships are built on mutual respect, honesty, and support. In a healthy relationship, both people feel free to be themselves, express their feelings, and maintain their individuality. We want to let them know that in a safe relationship, boundaries are respected, and they should never feel pressured to do something that makes them uncomfortable. Emphasize that saying “no” should be respected, and they have a right to express their needs or ask for space when needed. Remind them that love and respect go hand in hand—real love won’t force them to change who they are to fit someone else’s expectations.

2. What Healthy Communication Means

Communication is one of the most important foundations of any relationship. Describe healthy communication as open and honest, where both people feel heard, valued, and free to express their thoughts. We can encourage them to look for a partner who listens actively, avoids interrupting, and values their opinions. Also, explain that disagreements are a normal part of relationships, but it is how these conflicts are resolved that matters. Teach them that in safe relationships, arguments focus on understanding and resolving issues and are not about winning or blaming the other person. Let them know that apologizing, taking accountability, and showing empathy are signs of healthy conflict resolution strategies.

3. Identify Key Red Flags

Help them recognize red flags that signal a potentially unsafe relationship. These include controlling behaviors like constant check-ins, monitoring their whereabouts, or excessive jealousy. Explain that control and possessiveness are not signs of love but attempts to undermine their independence. Other red flags include put-downs, insults, or any behavior that makes them feel small, insecure, or ashamed. Highlight that isolation from friends, family, or hobbies is also concerning, as a supportive partner should encourage their connections and interests, not restrict them.

4. Discuss Healthy Boundaries and Consent

Make sure they understand that boundaries are essential in all relationships. Talk about the importance of setting clear personal boundaries, both emotional and physical, and emphasize that a respectful partner will honor these without arguments. This includes respecting their choice to take things at their own pace. Explain that consent isn’t just a one-time “yes” but an ongoing conversation. In any safe relationship, both people should feel empowered to say “no” at any point without fearing a negative reaction or pressure.

5. Encourage Self-Respect and Assertiveness

Emphasize that self-respect is key to recognizing when a relationship isn’t right. Encourage them to prioritize their well-being and to trust their gut feelings. Help them understand that they have the right to prioritize their mental and emotional health. Remind them that it’s okay to end a relationship if it’s not supporting their values, growth, happiness, and comfort. Being assertive about their needs is a sign of strength, and they deserve to feel secure and respected in any relationship.

6. Keep the Conversation Ongoing

It is not a one-time conversation; we need to let our youths know that this is an ongoing conversation. Encourage them to come to you whenever they have questions or if they are unsure about a situation. Assure them that you will always listen without judgment, and your priority is their safety and happiness. You also must make sure you keep your promise to listen without judgment no matter what they share, or else they shut down and stop sharing. Checking-in regularly helps them feel supported and reminds them that they have someone they can rely on, especially if they find themselves in a challenging situation.

Talking openly about these topics helps youths develop a clear understanding of what safe relationships look like and empowers them to make choices that protect their well-being. When they know they have a supportive adult who believes in their right to respect and happiness, they’re more likely to value those qualities in themselves and in their relationships.

For more information, or to book a consultation with any of the therapists on our team, feel free to reach out by calling 519.302.2300 or emailing reception@brantmentalhealth.com