Pregnancy and Motherhood – Part 4 – Becoming A Mom
Pregnancy/Motherhood – Five-Part Series The road to, through, and during motherhood is infused with so many conflicting emotions. Women do not always feel comfortable admitting to, or even openly expressing, the extreme emotions which surface. As women fall into the expectations of society, family, and friends, most do not recognize their experiences create a significant change, and therefore a need to grieve. In the fourth of this five-part series, we explore the motherhood myth.Motherhood may be one of the most important responsibilities a woman can choose. It is also an experience she often enters into with zero first-hand knowledge, followed by a belief that her life is changing for the better. The challenging experiences can, and must be,balanced with the moments of pure ecstasy. Many omit the trails, those which leave any mother, especially a new one, questioning her confidence and blaming herself for the “bad days”. This may leave her grieving the freedom of a previous life as she adapts to this enormous change. Motherhood can be complicated, and it can be riddled with conflicting emotions. Discovering and expressing honestly,the unique emotional challenges of becoming a mom, is essential to being able to fully embrace the experience. --- --- --- Part Four: Becoming a Mom For many, the experience of becoming a new mother is a choice. While some have planned this, for others it maybe a surprise. The arrival of a baby can quickly make a woman aware of the subtle and drastic changes in her life. She may find herself no longer being able to pick up and go the gym, sleep in on a Saturday morning, stay up late, or spontaneously load the kayak onto the truck and head to the lake. The everyday occurrences, once taken for granted, are no longer something she can do on a whim and must now be carefully planned around the baby’s schedule. Little excursions, such as heading to the corner store for an ice cream cone can become laborious as the baby must be strapped in their car seat, placed in a stroller or the car, and don’t forget the diaper bag just in case there is a diaper emergency while out. I had a friend head off to the ice cream store, when they suddenly realized they had forgotten the baby at home!A date-night not only requires extra planning but once one adds in the cost of perhaps dinner, a movie, and a sitter,it may not seem worth the effort nor, for some, affordable. It is normal and natural to grieve the loss of the lifestyle. In fact, it is important to express these emotions openly and honestly, especially to someone who will not judge. Burying these emotions can lead to resentment or, even worse, physical symptoms. If the woman has a partner, there will be changes in their relationship. While both parents are programmed for connection to the baby, one of them has carried this little one within her and a bond has [...]